British singer, Morrisey, made whining his life’s work as the lead singer of 80′s mega-band The Smiths. When they broke up in 1987, he continued to ply that trade in a solo career and…well…in his everyday life.

In a recent interview for rookiemag.com, a magazine geared toward teenage girls, the sullen singer suggested:

 “If more men were homosexual, there would be no wars, because homosexual men would never kill other men, whereas heterosexual men love killing other men.”

He then expounded further:

 “Wars and armies and nuclear weapons are essentially heterosexual hobbies.”

Guess no one ever taught him about Alexander the Great, Lawrence of Arabia or the Sacred Band of Thebes. Oh yeah - there were also these Amazons…

Here is a list of the top 5 dumb things ever uttered by Major Maudlin:

 On the 2011 mass murder in Norway:

“We all live in a murderous world, as the events in Norway have shown, with 97 dead…Though that is nothing compared to what happens in McDonald’s and Kentucky Fried Shit every day.”

On the meaning of…everything:

“When I’m lying in my bed I think about life and I think about death and neither one particularly appeals to me.”

On the British Royal Family:

“The most overpaid and most utterly useless people on the planet.”

On the treatment of animals in China:

“Absolutely horrific. You can’t help but feel the Chinese are a sub-species”

On President Obama:

“Simply a set of teeth, and useless in every other regard.”