The 10 Best Jokes From Last Night’s #NerdProm, White House Correspondents’ Dinner

Last night was the White House Correspondents’ Association annual black tie dinner of politicians, reporters, and celebrities. Know in the political world as “nerd prom,” it was headlined this year by President Barack Obama and TBS’s Conan O’Brien.

Here is a round-up of the “Top 10″ Best jokes from the evening:

10. Conan O’Brien’s self-deprecation: “Last year Tom Brokaw criticized this even for having too many superstars and A-list celebrities. When I told Tom I would be attending this year, he said ‘that’s more like it.’”

9. Conan on President Obama’s jobs record: “Since he was elected, the number of popes has doubled, and the number of Tonight Show host has tripled”

8. Conan on Mitt Romney: “If in 1995 you’d told me that in 2013 we’d have an African-American president with the middle name Hussein, who was just re-elected to a second term in a sluggish economy, I would’ve said: ‘Oh. He must’ve run against Mitt Romney.”

7. Obama on the choice of O’Brian as the featured comedian, the WHCA faced “the age-old dilemma: do you offer it to him now, or wait five years and give it to Jimmy Fallon.”

6. Conan on Obama: “It’s been several months since you were re-elected, sir, so I’m curious: why are you still sending everyone five emails a day asking for more money?…Do you have a gambling problem we don’t know about? Did you put it all on Gonzaga?”

5. Obama on Congress: “I’m taking my charm offensive on the road—a Texas barbecue with [Texas Senator] Ted Cruz, Kentucky bluegrass concert with [Kentucky Senator] Rand Paul, and a book burning with [Minnesota Congresswoman] Michelle Bachman”

4. Obama joked of Sheldon Adelson spending $100 million last year to defeat him: “Sheldon would’ve been better offering me $100 million to drop out of the race. I probably wouldn’t have taken it, but I’d have thought about it,” he joked with a wry smirk. “Michelle would’ve taken it,” he added.

3. Obama stepped to the podium to “Hail to the Chief” followed by T-Pain and DJ Khaled’s hip-hop ballad “All I Do Is Win.” “How do you like my new entrance music?,” the president ribbed. “Rush Limbaugh warned you about this—second term baby! We’re changing things around here a little bit.”

2. Obama showed a video of Stephen Spielberg announced his faux latest project—biopic about Obama, modeled on his recent Lincoln.

1. Yet the show was stolen by a “House of Cards” themed video starring Kevin Spacey and Fox News’ Ed Henry and cameo appearances by White House aide Valerie Jarrett and White House Press Secretary Jay Carney replying “there are two things I don’t talk about—covert operations and Valerie’s magical powers” when Spacey asks him, “Is Valerie badmouthing me to the president?” Senator John McCain also appears, asking of the night’s featured comedian “He’s the one that got fired from the Tonight Show right?” “Yes, and then he moved over to TBS,” replies Spacey. “Is that a real network,” McCain retorts. The video also features House Whips Steny Hoyer and Kevin McCarthy haggling over football and Taylor Swift concert tickets. Spacey tells Mike Bloomberg, former Congressman Anthony Weiner would be “in a pickle” and then “tweet that pickle” if Bloomberg runs for mayor. CBS’s Charlie Rose, National Journal’s Major Garrett, and Politico’s Mike Allen also appear, with jokes about him not wearing pants.

Oh, and this spoof picture of Obama shooting a gun was hilarious.

Leave a Reply